My emotions are still on a roller coaster. I found out that it might be another week until we ship down range. If this is the case, my future plans may change. As much as I want to finish this out, I don't want to miss school to work towards my future for what I need later in life. I've held up my contract thus far, and it's not fair to me that I wait for two weeks when I need to be home for school. I also found out now that my graduation is in August for both AIT and Basic Training. Since I am doing Basic and AIT straight through and I don't transit to another base in between, it's one ceremony in August, which if I don't ship this next Wednesday will be during school for Deanne and I don't know what family would come down. I've heard rumor that I might have a 72 hour pass between basic and AIT, so hopefully the second week of July I can still see my family. If I don't ship next week then we'll see how the rest of the summer goes. Hopefully I do ship because I truly think this well be a good (but emotionally difficult) experience for me. I really love everyone back home, and keep praying for me to stay strong and grow closer to God in this time of need. I'm looking forward to Sunday to see what a military church service is like.
As for today, we woke up at 0400 to get shots and do our first PT (Physical Training). It's about time we worked out. Army rules say that we can't work out until we are fully processed. So I guess we are processed! After PT we went to breakfast. After breakfast, we changed out of PT gear and into our ACUs. We went to the classroom where we had general questions about the army, Basic, AIT, and Iraq answered. We then had to take care of dirty bed sheets and linens (which took over an hour). We headed to lunch (steak again) and then back to the classroom to learn about land navigation. Later we went to dinner for some beef and noodles, then back to the classroom to watch videos about various Army things. I hear the rest of my time here will be boring, so I really hope I get to ship Wednesday. I haven't written anyone but Brittney and home because I don't have an address here in "Limbo." This would be better if we could have cell phones or at least phone card usage while we wait. Anyway, after videos in the classroom (which is just a large empty room with a desk, computer, and screen -- so we sit on the floor hours on end), we came back to clean up the bays. I talked with a few people who were supposed to ship last week (and obviously didn't), so I'm a little down on the information I received. I'll try to keep a positive attitude and pray that I ship.
02 May 2009 (Day 7)
Ah, the weekend! We got to sleep in until 0500 today. We had formation at 0530, but it was canceled. One of our fellow 11Bs (pronounced, "Eleven Bravos," meaning infantry) fell asleep during their firewatch last night, and was caught by the drill sergeant. He did PT for over an hour for all of us (YUCK!). We changed into ACUs and went into the classroom and had a shakedown of everything we need for Basic. I got a red ID tag because I am allergic to penicillin, so my neck jingles because I have so much around my neck. I need to exchange my summer boots to get better ones that don't tear up my heels. Also, I'll get some baby powder and ID tag silencers (Black rubber pieces that wrap around ID tags) from the PX when we go. There has been rumor that we wouldn't ship for yet another week, but there are a lot of new people processing, so I'm pretty sure we will be heading down range. I'm pretty excited actually. I know that I will get scared...Again, but who isn't that scared of the unknown? I definitely have a different mentality than most of the people here. These guys are real Army and want to be shipped to go "kill somebody" (legally). I hope I never have to take someone's life. I guess we'll come across that when the time presents itself. Anyway, after the shakedown, we headed to lunch (cheeseburgers and fries) and then back to our bays to clean them again. We were here for nearly four hours just sitting around, talking, studying Army information, and writing part of this journal. We then went to dinner, and when we got back, we were allowed to make a phone call home. I said I would call home first, but I called Brittney because I thought she knew how to do a three-way call, but she was babysitting and couldn't figure it out (and I only had five minutes and the calling card took a minute to punch in all the numbers). Sorry family for not calling and hopefully you are home tomorrow if/when I call. And Brittney, it was really good to hear your voice. It should help me until I get to talk again. Also, sorry all for not mailing letters, but I would rather wait a couple of weeks so you can at least have a return address that you can write back to (and please do!). Anyway, this journal is long enough (and since it was a boring day it is more about what I was thinking) so keep me in your prayers and I love everyone. God bless!
03 May 2009 (Day 8)
Today is Sunday, and I attended my first church service with the military. Church really made me miss my family. I have felt like crying all day (but haven't...yet). I got to call home before I left at 0915, but I guess my family went to the early church service, so I didn't get to talk to them. I am such a family man, and that is something the Army can't take from me. I love my mom and dad, grandparents, girlfriend, the "in-laws," and just the comfort of familiar faces and home. I love everyone so much, and this last bit has been really hard to write. Brittney, you really are such an amazing person, and you are such a rock in my life to give me the support I need. I can't wait to go down range just because I will get an address!
But today, church was pretty nice -- a little short for me, but the message was good. The scripture (which I am going to memorize for this summer to get me through) was I Corinthians 10:13, which says:
"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face..." (NIV)
It means something to me because I am so scared and feel alone here. Most people here have no other option in life, meaning parents have kicked them out, they need to support a kid, or they are flat broke. I on the other hand, have a supportive and loving family, no kids to support (Just Brittney ;)) and I have money saved away and enough to finish school. Most people here have all of the benefits to look forward to, but money just doesn't mean all that to me -- I just want the people I love dearly around me.
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